My Fair Jewboy

A musical scene that wasn't performed the other day at the White House:

Hussein Higgins: No, no, no, Binyamin. If you want your supper you'll have to try again. Now, repeat after me...The GAME's the SAME and Israel is to BLAME.

Binyamin Doolittle: The GIME is LIME and JIHAD is to BLIME.

Hussein (thoroughly exasperated): You're just not trying hard enough, man. You stay here and do it again while I go dine with Michelle and the girls. Perhaps when I get back you'll have made some progress. (Higgins rushes out, leaving Binyamin alone).

Binyamin: The GIME is LIME and JIHAD is to BLIME. The GIME's the SIME and JIHAD is a CRIME...Oh, what's the use? I'm never going to get it right. (Pulls himself together and starts again, this time talking very slowly and deliberately). The...GAME's...the...SAME...and...Israel...is to BLAME.

Hussein (who was lurking outside, but now enters the room and says excitedly): By Gore, I think he's got it. Again, Binyamin.

Binyamin: The GAME's the SAME and Israel is to BLAME!

Hussein: By Gore, he's got it! By Gore, he's got it! Now once again, what is the GAME?

Binyamin: It's the SAME! It's the SAME!

Hussein: And what's my wretched claim?

Binyamin: We're to BLAME, to BLAME!

Both (dancing around the room): The GAME's the SAME and Israel's to BLAME! The GAME's the SAME and Israel's to BLAME!

Hussein: Hamas, Fatah, Hezbollah...

Binyamin:...are HARDLY holy warriors. How KIND of you to let me come....

Both (still dancing): The GAME's the SAME and Israel's to BLAME! The GAME's the SAME and Israel's to BLAME!

Hussein (jubilant, triumphant): Finally, the breakthrough I was hoping for!