Every Age Get the 'Midget Girl' It Deserves

Okay, I admit it. I'm oddly fascinated by Snooki, the pint-sized, potty-mouthed slattern of "reality" show Jersey Shore. It strikes me that Snooki is, in fact, the Gidget of today. Let's do a quick comparison of the two gals, shall we, to see what it reveals about them--and us.

Looks:

• Gidget (1959 movie)--blonde hair, pony-tail, blue eyes, flat-chest, about as mangia cake as it gets
• Snooki (2010 reality TV show)--black hair, eyes, orangey skin (courtesy combo of tanning bed/spray tan) pronounced hair "pouf," pierced naval, so top-heavy she looks like she could topple over at any time, as "Guidette" as it gets.

Likes:

• Gidget--surfing, being the surfers' "mascot," Kahuna, Moondoggy, getting "pinned," remaining chaste until she's legally wed (or, as per the Gidget theme song, "although she's not kingsize, her finger is ringsize.")
• Snooki--getting drunk, puking, passing out, having sex with random guys she meets "clubbing," Mike "The Situation," Pauly D.

Clothes:

• Gidget--modest two-piece bathing suit, "just a doll in dungarees."
• Snooki--your basic skank wear--mini-dresses so tight the "girls" look like they're about to pop out; heels so high you're surprised she doesn't get vertigo.

Favourite saying(s):

• Gidget--"Honest to goodness, it's the absolute ultimate!"
• Snooki--"I'm not trashy."; "I smell pickles."