Matchmaker, Matchmaker: A Song From "Jihadi On the Roof (and in the Garage)"

Matchmaker, matchmaker, make me a match,
Find a sha-heed, one I can catch.
Matchmaker, matchmaker, I'm feeling sad
So please help me wage jihad.

Matchmaker, matchmaker, I know the score.
Read my Koran, know what it's for.
Infidels mocking sharia--and worse.
And me--I'm not risk averse.

For papa make him unbending.
For mama make him pure as can be
For me, well, I hope you're sending
A man who can build me an IED.

Matchmaker, matchmaker make me a plan.
I'm a rush,
That's 'cuz I know
ISIS is calling and we hate the foe.
So,
Bring me a match.
Groom me a groom.
Pave me a path.
Open the door.
I want to wage ho-lee war!