When you have a dearth of black men, it creates a lopsided situation where someone has the upper hand. Why would he get married if he can have Keisha on Monday come over and do his laundry and have sex with him, and have Theresa come over of Tuesday and clean his house and have sex with him, and then on Wednesday, Latisha comes over and washes his windows and has sex with him?Why, indeed? That old saying about one's disinclination to purchase a cow when it allows you to chug-a-lug all its milk, gratis, springs to mind.
I would advise Keisha, Theresa and Latisha to tell the dude to hire a housekeeper or do his own damn cooking and cleaning. And then I'd tell them to listen to Jully. She knows a thing or two about being a doormat and how it's unlikely to elicit the love you're seeking:
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The cliché is as hoary as Methuselah in his dotage, but that doesn't make it any less true: if a man truly loves a woman, he is willing to _marry_her. I emphasize _marry_ because playing house in some sort of quasi-marital relationship is not the same thing. To build on the cow-milking analogy, quasi-marital relationships just let the milking take place in esthetically more pleasing milking sheds.
Alas--and I say this with a true sense of vicarious shame for my sex--the male libido much more readily dissociates the . . . er . . . purely biological aspects of sexual relationships from the higher-level affective and spiritual ones than the female libido does. The institution of marriage is built around the female, not the male, libido (I'm still flabbergasted that feminist claims that marriage is a patriarchal power play managed to get psychological traction with so many women!). If women wish to be truly happy in their romantic relationships with men, they need to insist on marriage before allowing sexual intimacy.
None of this is drawn from my own font of wisdom (though my life experience bears it out), of course: it's all there in the Jewish and Christian Scriptures, which, when slightly adjusted for superficial changes in culture and fashions, still constitute the best "self-help" manual in the world.
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