No Tunes in Ayatollahville

The Grand Holy Rollah has ruled that playing tunes in his rancid land is strictly verboten. From Iran Inquirer:

In some of the most extreme comments by a senior regime figure since the 1979 revolution, Khamenei said: “Although music is halal, promoting and teaching it is not compatible with the highest values of the sacred regime of the Islamic Republic.”

Khamenei’s comments came in response to a request for a ruling by a 21-year-old follower of his, who was thinking of starting music lessons, but wanted to know if they were acceptable according to Islam, the semi-official Fars news agency reported. “It’s better that our dear youth spend their valuable time in learning science and essential and useful skills and fill their time with sport and healthy recreations instead of music,” he said.

And why, pray tell, are Iranians obliged to heed this joyless churl? Why, because the "unassuming" despot thinks his words manifest the same heft as those of Islam's founder:

Unlike other clerics in Iran, whose religious rulings are practised by their own followers, Khamenei’s views are interpreted as administrative orders for the whole country, which must be obeyed by the government. Last month Khamenei issued a controversial fatwa in which he likened his leadership to that of the Prophet Muhammad and obliged all Iranians to obey his orders.

Besides, the Ayatollah's distate for tunes goes waaaay back:

Khamenei has rarely expressed his views on music publicly, but he is believed have played a key role in the crackdown on Iran’s music scene following the revolution. When Khamenei was president, he banned western-style music, forcing many stars to go into exile.

Houshang Asadi, a former cellmate of Khamenei before the Islamic Revolution said: “He hated the music from the beginning.

“There were times I sang a song by Banan (a popular vocalist) for him and he told me to avoid music and instead pray to God”, said Asadi, who shared a cell with Khamenei for four months in Moshtarak prison in Tehran in 1976 and stayed friend with him for several years after the revolution. “The only music he liked was revolutionary and religious anthems,” said Asadi.

Quel Grinch. Hey, Ayatollah--this one (from Hairan: A Shia Tribal Musical) is 4 U:

When Mahmoud has scratched his seventh louse,
And Iran’s allied with Hezbo and Hamas,
Then war will guide the planet
And jihad'll cause a fuss.
This is the dawning of the age of A-scary-us,
Age of A-scary-us,
A-scary-s, A-scary-us.

Disharmony and tons of seething.
Bullying and hate abounding.
Lots of falsehood and taqiyyah,
They will bait and then deceive ya.
You won’t know what to believe.
A-scary-us,
A-scary-us.

When Mahmoud has spied the 12th imam,
He knows just where the guy is comin' from.
Last seen a-scramblin' down a well.
Soon Joo-oos'll roast in Hell.
This is the dawning of the Age of A-scary-us,
Age of A-scary-us.
A-scary-us,
A-scary-us.

Let the nukes fall,
Let the nukes fall,
Let the nukes fall
The nukes fall down…