Saturday, March 7, 2015

The NatPo Wins For Dumbest Headline Du Jour

Apparently, we're now grading the videos of dead jihadis on some unspecified scale because, according to a headline in the paper version of the National Post (the header online is rather different), "As jihadis go, this one was third-rate." The "one" being referred to is the late Michael Zehaf-Bibeau, who, though "third-rate," managed to put a bullet in the back of Corp. Nathan Cirillo that turned his wife into a widow and made his son fatherless. And, though "third-rate," the killer was also able to storm into Canada's seat of government, fully armed, and turn Canada's capital city upside down for an entire day.
The reasons given for why this jihadi is not quite top drawer are as follows:
RCMP Commissioner Bob Paulson told a parliamentary committee that the minute-long video was shot immediately before his deadly attack at the National War Memorial, as he sat in his car in a downtown Ottawa parking lot. 
It feels almost like an afterthought. None of the props that have come to be associated with such videos — black flags, Arabic script, weapons — are in the background. There is just a brick wall and the inside of his Toyota Corolla as Zehaf-Bibeau talks into the camera of a dashboard-mounted cellphone. 
Far from menacing, he sounds like a student struggling to remember the information he crammed for an oral exam. He begins forcefully enough by declaring himself a representative of the “Mujahedin of this world” at war with Canada over its military intervention in Afghanistan and Iraq. “Canada’s officially become one of our enemies by fighting and bombing us and creating a lot of terror in our countries and killing us and killing our innocents,” he says.
Here's the jihadi's entire statement. You tell me if it sounds "third-rate" or not:
“To those who are involved and listen to this movie, this is in retaliation for Afghanistan and because Harper wants to send his troops to Iraq.
So we are retaliating, the Mujahedin of the world. Canada's officially become one of our enemies by fight and bombing us and creating a lot of terror in our countries and killing us and killing our innocents. So, just aiming to hit some soldiers just to show that you're not even safe in your own land, and you gotta be careful. So, may Allah accept from us. It's a disgrace you guys have forgotten God and have you let every indecency and things running our land. We don't, we don't go for this. We are believers of God and believing his laws and his Prophets, peace be upon them all. That's my message to all of you in this. Inshallah, we'll not cease until you guys decide to be a peaceful country and stay to your and I-, and stop going to other countries and stop occupying and killing the righteous of us who are trying to bring back religious law in our countries. Thank you."
Granted, in the eloquence department he's no, say, Edward Said. But from a communication standpoint, I'd say he conveys his message effectively. It's short. It's to the point. It throws in the proper lingo--"peace be upon them," "inshallah" and, of course, "Mujahedin."

So what if its production values aren't up to ISIS standards? For a video made on the fly, it does the job--and then some. That some NatPo doofus considers it "third-rate"--that he think to grade it all--tells you a lot more about him than it does about the jihadi and the quality of his video.

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