Self-Absored and Mellow and Boring is He

During my son's SpongeBob SquarePants phase (now, thankfully, a thing of the past--"thankfully," because it might well have pushed me over the edge had it persisted), I think I mentioned that the 'toon's height-challenged arch-villain (and SpongeBob nemesis) Sheldon J. Plankton reminded me of North Korean height-challenged arch-villain, Kim Jong Il. (The primary differences between the two: unlike Kim, Plankton is animated, has but one eye and no nukes.) Why dredge up ancient history? Blame it on Claudia Rosett. After reading her thoughts on the spinless (invertebrate?) response to Kim's latest bit of savagery--his brazen missile strike on a South Korean ship, with scores of casualties--it struck me that, in a world that seems increasingly surreal and cartoonish, the "hero," who lives in the White House, not a pineapple, could be called SpongeObam':

Fear not! It seems there is a secret plan to deal once and for all with the murderous totalitarians running the rogue regime of North Korea. The U.S. government, together with the United Nations, is going to bore them to death.

OK, just kidding. But as the sophisticates of the “international community” yak on about penalizing North Korea for the March 26th torpedoing and sinking of a South Korean war ship, the Cheonan, any sane person looking in on this scene might well wonder if this is all just some sort of tedious diplomatic spring ritual — long on diplo-talk, but short on any action that really matters. It’s now two months since North Korea with an unprovoked attack sank the Cheonan, drowning 46 members of the crew. Definitive evidence has been presented that a North Korean submarine committed this act of war. But if Kim Jong Il is tuning in to the remarks of U.S. Secretary of State Hillary Clinton, what he heard her say on Monday, in response to a press question about whether the U.S. would support additional United Nations sanctions on North Korea, was: “We are obviously continuing to review and consult closely on these matters… .”

Hmm. Kim must be quaking in his elevator shoes...

If he's anything like Sheldon J. (for Jong?)--and I'm pretty sure he is--he's cackling hysterically and plotting his next crazy, evil move.