Tuesday, April 3, 2012

An April Fool's Day Joke That Actually Makes A Lot of Sense

Turn the money-hoovering "human rights" mausoleum into a water park? What a fabulous idea!
After repeated construction delays, cost overruns and funding roadblocks, the people in charge of building the Canadian Museum for Human Rights have finally thrown in the towel ... the beach towel.
The Winnipeg Sun has learned the federal government has reached a tentative deal to sell the museum to a group of private investors who plan to convert the still-unfinished edifice into a world-class water park. The exact terms of the deal are unknown, but it is believed the Winnipeg investors will pay only a fraction of the building’s $357.5-million price tag.
“Enough’s enough. Canadian taxpayers shouldn’t be on the hook for the spiralling cost of this museum,” said a source at the Department of Canadian Heritage shortly after Thursday’s federal budget. “Never mind the $100 million we’ve already spent on construction ... we were also committed to spending $21 million a year in operating costs.”
Although the deal has not yet been finalized, the water park consortium has already hired a team of consultants to adapt architect Antoine Predock’s original plans to accommodate an assortment of slides, wave pools and splash pads. A source close to the investors says the exterior design of the building should be just as impressive as Predock’s original vision.
“It’ll be awesome ... visitors to The Forks will still see this huge glass monument to mankind’s ingenuity,” the source revealed. “The only difference will be the addition of several hundred metres of PVC pipes curling around the exterior.”...
The Holocaust Log Luge; the Holodomor Waterfall; the Liquid Zone of Mass Atrocities--it's all coming together without too much effort at all...

Update: Continuing with the theme of water, the mausoleum offers this for sale (it's a mere $19.95):
Anyone concerned with the privatization of water can make the choice to take the No Bottled Water Pledge. Will you? Our new 26 ounce BPA-free stainless steel water bottle with carabineer is more than a means of quenching your thirst; it’s a call to action. Emblazoned with the phrase: “Water: Human Right or Commodity? I’VE MADE MY CHOICE.”
Colors: Silver on Green, Silver on Smoke, or Black on Silver.
Your Choice Water Bottle

Of course, being of a literary bent, I prefer "the banned books bracelet," which is advertised with this copy:
Freedom to read can never be taken for granted. Even in Canada, books and magazines are banned at the border, or removed from shelves in Canadian libraries, schools and bookstores every day. Celebrate freedom of expression and your right to choose what you wish to read with this fun conversation starter.
Rather risible, no?, given that here in Canada the biggest threat to our freedom of expression is posed by the "human rights" system/industry.

Banned Books Bracelet

1 comment:

Al the Fish said...

Scaramouche, the April fool's joke is almost reality:


The proposed site is literally across the street, I can imagine the advertising: "Visit the museum, stay for the water boarding."