Hey, Jack, now that we know how you like to "relax," how about adding happy endings at cat houses as a plank in the NDP platform? Spread the "happiness" around, so to speak, in a social justice-y sort of way.
It's only "fair," after all.
Update: Two poems for the "handy" man:
There once was a candidate, Jack,
Who suffered an awful attack.
He lay down on a table
And showed he was able
And never, ever went back.
* * * * * * *
Socialist Layton was
Caught in flagrante in a
Bad part of town.
Will people ignore it?
Vote for him anyway?
If they do it's clear he'll
Have won, hands down.
Update: The joint Layton went to for his, er, "physical therapy" sounds like a real class establishment. From the Toronto Sun:
TORONTO - The suspected bawdy house at 787 Dundas St. W. where Jack Layton was found was one of 26 raided by Toronto Police in Project Cobra in the mid-1990s.
Asian crime gangs were feeding off the bawdy houses that stretched across Toronto from Chinatown East to Parkdale.
Police assigned to Project Cobra hit 26 bawdy houses and laid more than 300 charges.
"Police were cracking down on underage girls from Thailand," a former asian crime unit cop says.
"It was unregulated and unpoliced ... it was a lucrative business, the girls were pulling in $600 to $700 for a couple hours work," he says.
The setup at 787 Dundas St. W. impressed the ex-cop.
The guy who ran the place controlled traffic with a red and green light system from the second floor where he could see down a stairway to the street.
"The setup was amazing ... when the police showed up, the manager flicked on the red light switch -- which told the girls to pretend it was a legitimate business -- rubs only -- keep it clean and the green light meant they could perform sexual services," he says.
"Each room had a window so that the owners could check that the girls weren't being hurt or more importantly, to them, that the girls weren't performing oral sex and later saying they were only being masturbated because fellatio cost more and the owners wanted to make sure they got their money."
Police were most concerned about underage girls brought in from Thailand and Vietnam.
The other women in the bawdy houses ranged in age from the 20s to 50.From the 20s to 50, eh? Nice to see that the place didn't discriminate on the basis of age. "Human rights" uber alles and all that.