Sunday, October 2, 2011

Potty-Mouth Rhymes for the Potty Set

It's not that I don't enjoy some good-natured vulgarity: when my son was younger, he--and we--roared at the antics of Walter the Farting Dog. But you'll forgive me if I don't cackle in amusement at this bit of alleged drollery, from critically-acclaimed New York Times bestseller Go the F**k to Sleep (reviewed here by Stefan Kanfer):
The tiger reclines in the simmering jungle,
The sparrow has silenced her cheep.
F——your stuffed bear, I’m not getting you s——,
Close your eyes. Cut the crap. Sleep.
Here's my rewrite--which goes out to the "grown-up" who wrote the rhyme:
The culture declines in a festering swamp,
The vulgarians swear and go, "Heh!"
F——your bestseller, I’m not buying your s——,
Shame on you. Cut the crap. Feh!


Carlos Perera said...

As John Derbyshire likes to reiterate: "We're all doomed!"

scaramouche said...

You could say we're f**ked.