"This is your captain speaking. I have an important announcement. We lost radio contact with the ground shortly after take-off and have been flying blind ever since. I have no idea whether we are still in U.S. territory, and we do seem to be losing altitude and running short of fuel. Sorry, folks, but that's the risk that you took in choosing to fly with us. Nancy and the other flight attendants will be coming through the cabin one last time to collect your valuables. Brace yourselves for a hard landing, and thank you for flying Hope-and-Change Airlines."