Thursday, March 4, 2010

Anthemic Silliness

The Conservative government is proposing a possible "update" of the Oh Canada lyrics from .."in all thy sons' command" (so sexist, so uninclusive) to the gender-neutral "...thou doest in us command"--or some other tin-eared locution. The Chronicle-Herald has more:
..."We are simply suggesting that a parliamentary committee examine the subject and report back to Parliament," said MacDougall.

He noted that the original 1908 poem on which the lyrics were based refers to "True patriot love thou dost in us command."

Politicians have been proposing a rewording of the anthem’s third line since at least 1990, but every proposal has been shot down as political correctness run amok.

"REAL Women requests the Liberal government in Ottawa to address the real problems Canadians face, especially economic ones, instead of dancing to the tune of a handful of chronically dissatisfied feminists," the right-wing women’s organization said in a 2003 news release.

Industry Minister Tony Clement now says it is a debate whose time has come.

"The prime minister has heard from some Canadians on this and I think it’s better to have a fulsome debate, rather than just shuffling it off," Clement said Wednesday...
On the Hon. Mr. C.'s to-do list: 1) Look up the word "fulsome" in the dictionary. 2) Resolve to never again use it to mean "complete" or "thorough". Oh, and newsflash for tin-eared parliamentarians: When sung, "doest" sounds the same as "dust". Do you really want Canadians to sing "thou dust in us command"? Okay, but that sounds more like a housekeeping instruction than a line intended to rouse and inspire.

Rather than spend all that time and money on a "parliamentary committee" (for heaven's sake), why not simply adopt my revision? As a service to my "home and native land," I am delighted to offer it here free of charge:
Oh, Canada,
A land that's so P.C.
True patriot love--
It's called "diversity."
With growing "hate"
From coast to coast
(That's what the "rights" types say).
It's the reason why
We need HRCs
To show us all the way.
Self-righteous, too.
Oh, Canada
We haven't got a clue.
Oh, Canada
It's time we got a clue.


PaladinPhil said...

I saw this headline in the Red Star this morning on the way to work. Needless to say it's got me steamed real good as well. Some one should have told that woman/group to go pound sand.

Grannie-Lu said...

Love your parody on the anthem, Scaramouche! But maybe we should REALLY sing the ORIGINAL Lavalee French version, which is MUCH more patriotic and reverent in nature.

Nova Scotians call that pitiful rag "The Chronically Horrible".

I'm wondering why Phil is steamed at REAL Women? They're asking for Parliamentary priorities to be focused on IMPORTANT things, rather than revising the poor English version of a GREAT national anthem to suit a few freaking feministas.