Totalitarian Censors of a Feather Flock Together

What  do "democratic" Canada and Communist China have in common? As George Jonas explains, both feel the overwhelming need to "censor" the Internet:

...“As is widely recognized, freedom is always relative…” says the People’s Daily. Well, yes; most municipalities prefer people to stop at red lights. While all freedoms are relative, some freedoms are more relative than others. Beijing’s experts on the relativity of freedom can probably knock Einstein into a cocked hat.

“Freedom is always relative” rings another bell, though. Let’s see. Of course! “Because no right is absolute.” It’s a Canadian source.

Look at the opening statement to the Canadian Association of Statutory Human Rights Agencies, delivered in the summer of 2009 by Chief Commissioner, Jennifer Lynch, Q.C. It fits perfectly. How can freedom be anything but relative, as the People’s Daily asserts, when no right is absolute, as the Chief Commissioner of Canada’s Human Rights confirms.

Déjà vu solved. If Ottawa is here, can Beijing be far behind? Censors of the world, unite. The Canadian Human Rights Commission and the People’s Daily are in synch.

“Most countries exert some sort of control over information …” offers China’s official organ, and “many … nations have enacted laws to limit forms of extreme hateful expression … ” Canada’s official commissioner confirms. “No responsible country takes a laissez-faire attitude towards the use of the Internet …” proposes China, and Ms. Lynch seconds the motion: “I launched a comprehensive policy review of how to prevent the harm caused by hate messages on the Internet…”

“Debate” is welcome, in theory, but critics aren’t. For sensitive commissars a fair debate on freedom of expression is a debate their opponents concede at the outset. The keyword, in Ottawa no less than in Beijing, is “respect.”...

"Respect," eh? I feel a song--by "Aretha" Lynch--coming on:

R-E-S-P-E-C-T--ending "hate" will keep us free.
R-E-S-P-E-C-T--it's our ideology.
(Sock it to you, sock it to you, sock it to you, sock it to you...)

Update: Canada's Queen Censor doesn't get how this freedom stuff is supposed to work; that, in a free society the individual is free to respect--or, more crucially, to disrespect--whomever and whatever he or she chooses. Here's a "Cowardly" song especially for Jen and her ilk, dusted off from the Scaramouche vault:

In wintery climes there are certain times of day
All the censors conspire to get the bloggers to retire.
It’s one of those tricks that the apparatchiks hurray
Because the light is too revealing
And you’ll find that they’re concealing muck and mire. 

Papalaka-papalaka-papalaka-boo. (Repeat)
Allahakbar Allahakbar Allahakbur-doo. (Repeat)

The censors fume that we won’t heed their advice
And won't be obviously, definitely nice.

'Slamists and Communists
Don’t watch you to have free speech.
The mullahs and Ayatollahs want to nix it holus-bolus.
Hamas and the Taliban
Say all backtalk at once must cease.
Such freedom, puffs those huffers, 's for kafirs.

In Saskatchewan it would make you yawn
To hear Basement Nazis blither.
And out in B.C., between you and me,
Some 'roos have been known to slither.
'Cuz freedom is dangerous,
And they practice what they preach.
And 'Slamists and Communists
Don’t want you to have free speech.

It’s such a surprise for Canadian eyes to see
That there’s an asterisk in their Charter--
You’d have thought we'd be much smarter.
But Trudeaupia doesn’t come easily, you'll agree.
And hoi polloi are often drowned out
By the powerful elitist symphony.

Bolyboly-bolyboly-bolyboly-baa. (Repeat)
Habaninny-habaninny-habaninny-haa. (Repeat)

It's quite surreal our 'Chilles Heel is that we’re mild.
But then how else could one get treated like a child?

'Slamists and and Communists
Don’t want you to have free speech.
The UN, it must be stated,
Feels such freedom’s overrated.
The OIC caliphate wants sharia to fill the breech.
Because its true ambition’s
Submission.

In the desert sands you hear loud commands
That are often hurled and flung.
And in Canada you can find a law
That will make you hold your tongue.

For Jen Lynch
To budge an inch
Is seldom, if ever, in reach.

And 'Slamists and Communists
Don’t want you to have free speech!