Parton Is Such Sweet Sorrow

Did you see John Mayer, Norah Jones and Keith Urban singing Dolly Parton's "Jolene" at last night's Grammys? I was inspired to revise it for one of Canada's most revered multiculturalists:

Harpoon, Harpoon, Harpoon, Harpoon,
Please stop all your shilling for Islam.  
Harpoon, Harpoon, Harpoon, Harpoon,
Knock it off 'cuz we're wise to your scam.

Your bona fides are clear to me.
You even won an O of C.
With practised line so smooth and slick
Your writing's like a clever trick.
Your voice is angry and outraged
And it's what keeps the saps engaged, Harpoon.

You slam that Harper all the time
And highlight his supposed "crime"
Of trying to boost Zionists, Harpoon.

And I can easily understand
Why you would ardently loathe the man
But you're not making headway there, Harpoon.

Harpoon, Harpoon, Harpoon, Harpoon,
Please stop all your shilling for Islam.
Harpoon, Harpoon, Harpoon, Harpoon,
Please don't do it--we're wise to your scam...