Now, That's What You Call Bad Timing

United Passions, a movie that tells the (fictionalized) story of FIFA and that makes a hero of disgraced former chief Sepp Blatter, opened last week at the height of media stories about FIFA malfeasance. For those who claim that "there's no such thing as bad publicity," the flick's scant U.S. earnings on its opening weekend--a whole $918--should put that puppy to bed for good.