Sunday, October 18, 2015

The Wizard of Ottawa, a Canadian Election Musical

In the lead up to tomorrow's vote, the three candidates for prime minister do a final song and dance:

1) Justin "Scarecrow" Trudeau sings:
I would swan around with drama
And earn the love of mama.
I'd made the Tories cower.
I'd put moolah in your pocket
And Utopian--I'd talk it
If I only had the power.
I'd bring unicorns and rainbows
And watch as all your pain goes:
Sweet would replace the sour.
I'd give hugs to bad Vlad Putin,
That would end the Mideast shootin'
If I only had the power.

2) Stephen "Tin Man" Harper sings:
Some folks claim I'm rather boring,
That I induce their snoring
And make 'em snooze a lot.
So charisma would be missing
And no chicks would I be kissing
If I get another shot.
Many suffer a derangement
That's led to an estrangement:
Their hate is very hot.
The claim my agenda's hidden
And that I'd do Jewry's biddin'
If I get another shot.

3) Tom "the Un-Cowardly Lion" Mulcair sings:
Tho' I know I'm no Jack Layton
My hopes are not deflatin'--
I'm sure I'm gonna fly.
I'm a Socialistic critter
And I'd be a solid hitter
If you'd just give me a try.
I'd unravel ev'ry problem
And soon enough I'd solbem.
I'm such a clever guy.
Put a chicken in each oven,
That's the way that I would gove'n
If you'd just give me a try.

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