White Like Me

Inspired by Barbara Kay's column, I have revised a beloved Muppet tune:

It's not that easy bein' white.
Spending each day the color of the milk.
When I think it'd be more P.C. bein' red
Or yellow
Or brown
Or something much more colourful like that.

It's not that easy bein' white.
It seems you're accused of so many awful things.
And people call you "racist" and "bigot"
And "colonialist" and "imperialist"
And, what's that other one? Oh, yeah--
"Hegemon".

But white's the colour of flour.
And white can be sweet and sugar-like.
And white can be cold like a snow storm,
Or soft like a crumpet,
Or cute like a Westie.

When white is all there is to be
It could make you wanna cry.
But why cry now, why cry now?
I am white and it'll do fine.
It's beautiful.
Even if I get blamed for everything by the HRCs.