Monday, March 14, 2011

Gaddafi Does Sondheim

The despot sings one, appropriately enough, from Follies:

Good times and bomb times,
I've seen them all and, my dear,
I'm still here.
Plush velvet sometimes.
Sometimes just something more sheer.
But I'm here.
I've given prizes;
Bought the best.
Unrest arises?
Still I'm blessed.
Seen all my foes disappear,
But I'm here.
I've slept under canvas,
Tented as I foment fear.
But I'm here.
Shmoozed in my loose robes
With smart guys I bribed to appear.
But I'm here.
I've stood at the UN
With the worst.

Waxed incoherent,
In a depression now that I'm pressed?
Nowhere near...
I met Tony Blair (many times)
And I'm here.
I've been through Reagan,
Ron's Iran-Contra affair,
And I'm here.
Lockerbie slayed 'em,
They let the killer get off,
Now he's here.
I got through Clinton,
That sleazy bore.
Fem-bots to guard me.
Could I ask for more?

Had heebie-jeebies
Re Bibi's entire career.
I lived through Saddam Hussein

And I'm here.
I've gotten through Kofi and Ban Ki,
Gee, that was fun and a half.
When you've been through Kofi and Ban Ki
Anything else is a laugh.
I've been through Benghazi,
I've been through Tripoli, too,
And I'm here.
Soldiers for hire,
Men I pay to persevere.
And I'm here.
Had face lifts, filler and Botox,
And I'm here
Been called a whacko,
Who loves to primp. 
Nutty as Jacko,
Minus the chimp.
Still, there are folks who will sneer.
But I'm here.

On the run one day.
Next day on top,
And I'm here.
Mobs milling Monday,
Tuesday they've mostly been shot.
But I'm here.
First you're another
Handsome chap.
Then you're all puffy
And look like crap.
Then you careen like C. Sheen
And his dreary career.
I'm almost through my memoirs.
And I'm here.
I've gotten through "Hey, what happened to Moo Moo?
Wow! He used to inspire dread."
Or, better yet, "Hey, aren't you Moo Moo?
Gee, I thought you were dead."
Good times and bomb times,
I've seen 'em all and, my dear,
I'm still here.
Army garb sometimes,
Sometimes it's more buccaneer,
But I'm here.

I've run the gamut
Near and far.
Three cheers and dammit,
Allahu Akbar!
I got through last week it's clear,
And I'm here.
Allah knows, at least I was there,
And I'm here!
Look who's here!
I'm still here!

And for his next number...Miss Gloria Gaynor's "I Will Survive."

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