Was a kooky, crafty guy.
Tried to shake down all the moppets
With a big fat eco-lie.
Said, "Behold, the North Pole thaws,"
And so now it's inhospitable for
Poor old Santa Claus.
He promised them a tax receipt
If they sent him their dough.
And they'd put Santa back to work.
Could the kids resist him? No!
Guilt and moolah were his goal.
And for that his Christmas present is...
A great big lump of coal.