Sunday, June 6, 2010

Slashing Throught the Thicket of Circumlocution

The thing about euphemism is that it wastes a lot of words trying to say something that could have been said more precisely and succinctly had the proper word(s) been employed in the first place. Here's an example of what I mean--a Reuters report about some, ahem, "young men" with, ahem, "militant ties" (as opposed, I s'pose, to militant ascots) who belonged to a particular type of, ahem, "social circle":
Two men were arrested late Saturday at John F. Kennedy International Airport where they were believed headed for meetings with militant groups in Somalia, The New Jersey Star Ledger reported.

The men were arrested as they tried to board flights to Egypt. They were charged with conspiring to commit an act of international terrorism through a group tied to al Qaeda, the newspaper said, citing officials familiar with the arrests.

Both in their twenties and both residents of New Jersey, the two men had been under investigation since October 2006, the Star Ledger said.

An unidentified official told the newspaper both men were unmarried American citizens.

The U.S. Attorney's Office confirmed the arrests but said the pair did not pose any immediate threat. They are scheduled to appear on Monday in U.S. District Court in Newark, New Jersey.

Federal and local law enforcement officials searched the homes of both men where they conducted interviews and removed boxes of papers, a computer and other materials.

Authorities had infiltrated the men's social circle and said the suspects were not planning an imminent attack in the New York-New Jersey area but were believed to be intending to join with the Al Shabaab youth movement to fight against Americans in Somalia, the report said...
Here's how I would have written it:
Answering the siren call of jihad, a pair of young American Muslims has been apprehended en route to join the holy war in Somalia.
See how much shorter and clearer that is?

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