No Clue, No Nuke, No Moderate

LATMA has The Three Terrors, but I have the three characters from The Wizard of Oz:

Barack "Scarecrow" Obama:

I would not be such a weenie
Or try to be Houdini,
A magician through and through.
And you know it won't be moi who
Puts the screws to Netanyahu
If I only had a clue.

Mahmoud "Tin Man" Ahmadinejad:

I could flex my ev'ry msucle,
Beat Great Satan in a tussle.
It wouldn't be a fluke.
All the Jews would be vapor;
You could read it in the paper
If I only had a nuke.

The "Custodian Lion" of the Two Holy Mosques:

I would not be a Wahhabi.
A Sunni who is snahhbi,
A real religion nut.
And I wouldn't put my cash into
Mosques/colleges/madrassahs
If I was a moderate.