Friday, November 14, 2014

Chuck Hagel and The Brotherhood of the Traveling Wrench

It's sort of like The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants, only without all the estrogen and with the potential for nuclear catastrophe:
Defense Secretary Chuck Hagel on Friday ordered major changes in the management of America's nuclear arsenal, and billions in additional spending, to fix "systematic problems" in the wake of a series of embarrassing nuclear missteps.  
In announcing the top-to-bottom changes, the secretary also shed light on how deep the problems really were. He described how three Air Force bases had to share a simple -- yet critical -- wrench that is needed for attaching nuclear warheads to missiles. 
Hagel said operators had to express-ship the wrench across the West so that the bases in North Dakota, Wyoming and Montana could use it.  
"They were creative and innovative and they made it work," Hagel said. But he said "that's not the way to do it" and the department now has provided a wrench for each location - and they'll soon have two at each.  
"That's one of many of the issues and the problems that we found," Hagel said...
Quel relief, eh? I'm betting the Grandiose Ayatollah never had the "superpower's" petty wrench problem, and thus never had to find a way to fix it.

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